Friday 2 December 2011

Simple Steps To Getting Back With Your Ex








If you have gone through a break up in the not so distant future, and you are trying to start dating other people again, then you know it's not an easy thing to do. You come home after yet another lousy date with some guy, and now all you can think about is getting back with your ex. What you want to know is if there is a chance that the two of you will be able to get back together. The answer is that it is possible, but you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.





As you move forward with your plan of getting back with your ex, you have to stay focused. So, that means no more dating other guys. No matter how nice the guys may be, dating takes a lot of energy. You need to be ready to handle things as they come up. Besides, if you're really interested in getting him back, then it only makes sense that you would stop chasing after other potential relationships.





Make sure that you keep your self-respect while you are apart from one another. That means you can't keep trying to chase down your ex. He will look at you more favorably if you don't show him how needy you are. At the same time, don't let him push you around and manipulate you. The key is to stay strong, confident and secure. This won't be as hard to do as you think, because you have a plan.





Changing your mindset is also an important step. It is normal to feel angry and hurt after a break up, but that won't do any good in getting your ex back. Instead, make a list of all of the things you like about your ex. After doing these things you should be ready to start trying to reunite.





As you start talking to each other about patching things up, be sure to try to get out of whatever ruts you were in. This will keep things interesting. It will also keep you from associating old habits with old feelings.





You should also work on building a better future for the both of you. There is no need for you to wait for circumstances to happen to you. Nope! Go out and live a fuller life, a happy life, a shared life. This doesn't mean you have to be globe-trotting thrill seekers, or be attached to each other around the clock. Be sure to do this together. As long as you are planning on getting back with your ex, you may as well be happier than you were before. After all, if you are going to go right back to doing the exact same things, then the odds are that you will end up in the same place.


How To Win Back An Ex You Still Love








Being in a loving relationship is one of the highlights of life. The two of you are in love, you are happiest when you are around your mate, and things seem to be going along just fine. Then it happens! Seemingly out of nowhere, your partner tells you that they want to break up with you. You are stunned, confused, hurt and angry. However, underneath all of those conflicting emotions, you still feel some enough love that you start to wonder how to win back an ex. With that in mind, here are some thoughts to help you patch things up and be back together with the person you love.





The first thing you should do is take some time to examine your personal feelings. Do you really want your ex back? What is it about them, specifically, that's so important to your happiness? Is it possible you don't love them so much as the way they made you feel? Can you get that same feeling from someone else in the future? All of these questions and more are important to answer as honestly as you can. If you fin that you really want to be with them again, then learning how to win back an ex is a smart move.





Now that you have your feelings figured out, it's time to think about how your ex feels about you, or at least how they used to feel about you. See, the problem is that when we are deeply in love, it can cloud our judgment. You may have loved your ex so much that you never really considered that they treated you like dirt. Think back, and try to be objective as you can, as though you were an outside observer. How did your ex treat you? How did they show you love? Were they nice to you, or unnecessarily mean? This can be a hard exercise to go through, but it's better to discover the truth now, than it is to chase after a romantic fantasy that will never come true.





Okay, now you have reached the point where it is clear you should move ahead with you plan to win back your ex. This will take work, but it will all be worthwhile if it means the two of you get back together again. What you need to do is more searching. What that means is that you need to dig down deep and get to the bottom of the problems that caused the two of you to break up. This can be tricky. For example, you may say that you broke up because the two of you would always argue. But arguing isn't the cause of the problem, it's a symptom. You need to dig deeper and find out what was causing it. Once you find the problems you can move on to the next step.





The final step for how to win back an ex is to come up with solutions for the problems. For those problems which can't be undone (such as unfaithfulness) you have to be able to forgive and move forward. Doing all of these things will give you the best chance of getting back together for good.


Relationship Status - Wow - Its A Loaded Question








It's not uncommon for people to find themselves at different points in a relationship in the beginning. When this happens, it's not uncommon for one person to want to know what the relationship status is. Sometimes, this can cause problems.





It's a tricky thing to ask for clarification about what the other person is feeling. It might seem to them like you are pressuring them. This can lead to resentment and even a fight that can put a strain on the relationship.





Sometimes when you ask the question about how the other person is feeling, you may not hear what you want to hear. That too can cause some problems in the relationship. Either way, it can lead to an uncomfortable conversation with your partner.





Before you have 'the' conversation with your partner, you may want to carefully consider whether or not this really is the person you want to take the relationship to the next level with in the first place.





It's ohh so easy to see what you want to see. To be happy in a relationship you have to pick carefully. You don't want to pretend that the person you are dating is 'marriage' material when they so obviously are not.





There are basics that you should never compromise on. Make sure that your partner is someone that you want to continue on with before you ask 'the' question.





Are they honest? If not, than why would you want to consider having a relationship with them? News flash, they will not change! If your partner lies, cheats, steals than do not continue a relationship with them.





Is your partner mature enough to stay in a relationship with? It may be fun now to be with a 'free spirit' but that will get old the longer you are together. And don't mistake a flaky, fighting attitude with 'passion'. That is the epitome of immaturity.





Does your partner communicate effectively? That doesn't just mean that they know how to talk, but do they know how to listen? Do you? It's important that you both can talk and listen to what each other has to say. Can you convey what you are feeling to your partner in a constructive way? Can you take constructive criticism from your partner? These are all important skills to have if you and your partner are going to have effective communication.





The bottom line: can you trust your partner? Can you trust them not to cheat, can you trust them with your money, can you trust them to have your back no matter what is going on? If your answer to any of these questions is 'No' or 'I'm not sure' than you really need to reevaluate why you are even in a relationship with this person.





It's understandable to want to confirm your relationship status with your partner, but before you ask the question make sure that you are really ready for the answer. You also want to make sure that the relationship is worth continuing with. Don't get too complacent and ignore potential problems, you aren't doing yourself any favors if you do that.


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How To Get Lover Back - Honesty Prevails








Before you learn how to get lover back, it's important that you stop yourself for a minute and ask yourself why you want them back. I know, you'll say it's because you still love them, and you might, but are you sure that really is the main reason? Look, I'm not trying to be rude here, but it's really easy to feel our life has been shaken off it's foundations after a breakup and we find ourselves scrambling to get back to something that seems normal. This could be a big reason to want them back, but it's not a good one.





You really need to not only be completely honest about the reasons you want them back, you also need to be totally honest when it comes time to evaluate if the relationship was even healthy enough to continue with. So the question should be (at this point) not about how to get them back but whether or not you should get back with them.





If there was any type of abuse at all...physical, sexual, verbal, etc. than you absolutely shouldn't get back with them even if they promise they'll change (I mean, you've no doubt heard those promises before, and were they ever kept?). If your ex has been in therapy for some time and has shown a commitment to changing than maybe you could consider reconciling with them but you must know that the two of you had a certain dynamic when you were together and it's very likely that you'll fall back into that pattern if you get together again, therapy or not.





If, after careful consideration, you decide that the relationship is worth giving another shot, here are some things that will show you how to get lover back:





1. First of all, try to contact your ex to see if they are even receptive to the idea. This part can be tricky. You have to be very casual, don't let them know yet that you want to get back with them. Keep it easy and light and just suggest meeting to 'catch up' as friends. If they say no, than more than likely you have your answer. If they don't even want to get together for coffee as friends, it's unlikely that they'll want to get back with you.





If they say yes, keep the 'date' very casual. Just talk to each other. Be fun loving and sincere, you know, the way you were when the two of you first met. Things will probably progress from there if your ex is interested in getting back with you too.





2. If your ex shows no interest of reconciling with you you need to walk away with your head held high. Nothing ventured nothing gained, but it's important to know when to call it a day. Don't get angry, threaten, swear, etc. Just wish them a good life (no matter how much you may choke on those words) and say goodbye. At least that way you won't feel like a fool every time you remember the meeting.





These are simple things you can do to find out if your ex is receptive to a reconciliation, and if not you can move on knowing that you tried. Please take the time, first, though to make sure that you really should learn how to get lover back, not all relationships should be saved.


Dating Singles Online Has Many Advantages




Now that the internet is so popular, many things have changed. We keep in touch with our friends and family through Facebook and Twitter. We send an email now instead of posting a letter. Most of us know people all over the world yet don't know many of our neighbors. In this atmosphere, it's easy to see why dating singles online is also the way couples get together these days.





One advantage to dating singles online is the access to a great many single people all at once. There are many online dating sites with thousands of potential dates for you. You aren't limited to meeting people through friends and family – and let's face it, how often does that really work out?





The best thing is you don't have to get all dolled up and travel to a club to find a new person to date. That scene is fine to go out with friends but it's not and never was the best place to find someone new.





Another advantage is that you can learn a little bit about that person before you ever approach them. All the dating sites have profile features, some very detailed, and people can include pictures and even videos. You can search through the sites based on all sorts of criteria, too. Do you want to meet certain age people? Perhaps you only want to meet those within 50 miles of your location or maybe you want to meet someone who isn't nearby. The choices are endless.





The nice part about this is you don't have to be so concerned with how this person will react or the fear of rejection. It's tough to get hurt feelings by someone not returning an email. It's a lot harder to approach someone in person and have them turn you down.





You can get to know the people you are interested in by chatting with them through email and instant messagers before you have to actually meet them in person. You can take as long as you'd like to be comfortable enough to move beyond the computer to phone calls or meeting face-to-face.





Some people, who aren't comfortable with the new technologies, will say that meeting someone you met over the internet is dangerous. That seems silly, though. How is it safer to go on a date with some person that gave you their number Friday night at the bar? Besides, as said before, it's a great thing to work up to a date, anyway.





Start by exchanging emails and asking questions about the other person. Figure out if you sound compatible before you further the contact. From there, work up to instant messagers and then phone calls. Taking the time to really get to know each other will be better in the long run then simply going out on a date after a dance in a club. You'll know the person a lot better.


Thursday 1 December 2011

You Can Save Marriage - But It Takes Work








You can save marriage from divorce if you change the way you think about marriage in the first place. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. That's why you got married, right? You found someone you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, have 2.3 children and a house with a white picket fence.





Whose fault is it that it didn't turn out that way? Your's? Your partner's? Does it matter? Good marriages don't just happen. You have to learn how to be married. If you do not learn how to be married, then you need to learn how to be divorced. If you don't want that, you just need to fix it.





If things have gotten out of control and the lines of communication are down, stop what you are doing and take control back. Too often, couples just let the marriage happen when in reality marriage takes some effort to be successful. If you don't work at it and nurture it, you will lose it.





The most effective way to work things out is to talk them out. Concentrate on clearing up any misconceptions and misunderstandings that have crept in under the radar. Reopen the lines of communication now. Don't wait any longer or the only ones who will be communicating will be the divorce lawyers. Figure out and learn to fix the problem areas together and together you can save marriage from divorce.





The love you felt for each other once is probably still there, it is just buried under a heap of overdue bills, the never ending housework, not enough time spent together, kids running you ragged, and flat out exhaustion. Not quite the fairy tale you dreamed of when you were young, is it? It may not be, but you can get some semblance of that original fairy tale to come true at any time in your marriage.





After you take the time to talk things out and clear up any misconceptions or misunderstandings then it is time to start making a plan on how to fix your relationship. Make a budget you can live on. Spend more time together by planning a date night every week. Ask that a family member help you out with running the kids to school or practice a couple of times a week, have dinner together as a family as often as you can, leave that last load of laundry or just rinse the dishes and let them be until the morning, watch an earlier newscast so you can go to bed earlier than usual and get more sleep.





There is a very well known talk show host who once said, "If you want to make changes in your life, you have to make changes in your life." The same can be said for your marriage. Sit down together and figure out what needs to be changed and then learn how to change them. The sooner you do make the changes the sooner you can save marriage from divorce.