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Do Any Of These Symptoms Sound Familiar?

• Endlessly thinking about what you could have done or said to save the relationship
  
  


• Constantly checking your email or voicemail to see if she got in touch
  
  


• Loss of appetite (or maybe even binge eating at times to momentarily dull the pain)
  
  


• Picturing her sleeping with or falling in love with another man
  
  


• Continuosly thinking about why she really left you
  
  


• Avoiding any song that even remotely reminds you of her
  
  


• Calling (or wanting to call her) all the time
  
  


• Planning what you'll say when you run into her over and over again in your head

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Bad Break Up - Hurts - But Can Be Positive

The first thing you will want to do after a bad break up is to let yourself feel the hurt. Don't bottle it up or push it down and pretend everything is ok. We all know everything is not ok and it is not healthy to pretend you are not hurting. If you ignore it, it will not go away and someday will come back to bite you in the butt.

Now, I don't mean you have to go off the deep-end either. Never threaten your ex. Nothing good will ever come of threatening someone. There are healthy ways to handle what you are feeling.

You must realize that you will not be over your ex tomorrow. Getting over someone takes time. Make the time constructive and treat it as a time to learn new relationship skills. You will not only be healthier for yourself but also for the next time around with someone new.

So, feel your pain, but do not let it consume you. Put a time limit on it. When the anger starts to surface, and it will, trust me, there are safe ways to let it out where no one gets hurt.

If you still have a picture of your ex, draw a target on it and tack it up on the wall. Go buy some marshmallows and stand about ten feet from the tacked up picture. Throw the marshmallows one at a time, as hard as you can at the picture while telling him/her off. Scream at the top of your lungs, just get everything out. There are about forty-five marshmallows in a bag, throw each one and when you are done, yeah, you will have a mess but you will feel a lot better. You might even be laughing when you are finished. Ha, what bad break up?

There is something to be said for being able to laugh. If you can laugh, whatever the trouble is, it probably isn't really that bad. You know you can handle anything at this point. You will survive and realize that it was not the end of your world, just the end of a relationship that had been bad for a long time.

If you have given yourself plenty of time (minimum six months) to get your world put back together then consider dating again. The next time you find someone you would like to get to know better, take it slow. What the heck, even play hard to get. You are stronger now and know more about what you need and want in a new relationship.

Do not give up on love, love is the most beautiful thing to be in, in the whole world.

Just take your time getting into a new relationship. Talk to whoever you are considering dating and let them know that your previous relationship ended badly and you are going to do whatever it takes to not let yourself get hurt again and avoid another bad break up.

How To Get Over Someone - Who Dumped You

Do you want to know how to get over someone who just broke up with you? We all know that break ups are difficult, how you handle it is completely up to you.

You could go to the extreme and you can cry, scream, be totally miserable and vow to hate the opposite sex for the rest of your life or you can choose to get on with your life after a brief mourning period.

Choosing to get on with your life means making and sticking to a plan to learn what it takes to be single again. It may take some time but tell yourself you have the strength to get through this and you will.

So take a day to cry, scream and feel miserable. You need this to move on to the next step. Just make sure that you don't go over the twenty-four hours you give yourself. No one is worth more than that amount of time. Once things start to get under control, you may even feel like you are better without them.

When your twenty-four hours are up, get up the next morning and start clearing away any and all of the things that will remind you of the other person. Pictures, mementos, cards, jewelry, whatever it is, get rid of it. Put it in storage or if things were really bad just throw it in the trash bin. Let the garbage man handle how to get over someone.

Clearing things away may not take all day so in the afternoon, call a friend and get out of the house. Meet for coffee or go have lunch. Go buy yourself a new pair of shoes. Just do something to make yourself feel better.

What you don't want to do is have any contact with the one who broke up with you. Don't call them or text them or message them on Facebook. Adopt a no-contact policy, none, zip, zilch, nada. It won't do you any good and will only succeed in keeping you mired in self-doubt and misery. Let it go.

There are so many other things you can do to keep your mind off of how bad you feel. Go to the library and check out a good book to lose yourself in. Join an exercise class and get in shape. Check out the local community college and sign up to take a class. Go to a local nursing home and volunteer your time. Go eat some ice cream. Concentrate on you for a while. Soon you will be feeling happy again and one day you will realize that you have moved on.

When that realization hits home you can smile at yourself and be optimistic about your future. Then and only then should you consider dating and getting back into another relationship. Don't jump from one bad relationship to another. A new relationship probably won't work if you get into one too soon and you will then have to learn how to get over someone else along with the first one.

To Save My Marriage - Wait - Do I Really Want To

My marriage has been on the rocks for some time now and I just did some research on how to save my marriage. The first thing I learned was we both need to communicate better. I am so excited, this shouldn't be too hard, we used to talk about everything all the time. I am going to start as soon as we both get home from work. I will suggest that we cook dinner together, open that nice bottle of wine we bought on that vacation we took a couple of years ago, and start talking while we eat our dinner.

I found that I have to be honest with myself, that no matter how much I want my marriage to work I may not be able to save it. My husband needs to want to save it and be willing to work on things, too. No matter how much I may want to, I can't do it all by myself and I can't force him to want to work on it if he really does not want to.

I also realize that we don't have a clue on how to communicate. Sure, we talk, but we don't really 'get' the other person most of the time. So often when I try to tell him how I feel he gets mad and thinks I'm attacking him. I'm just trying to express my worries, concerns or fears but he seems to take it as a personal attack.

I will suggest we talk about why we haven't been getting along lately, just see what's going on. I know this is going to take some work on both our parts but I want to save my marriage.

Hopefully if this dinner is a success we can start to figure out how to spend more quality time together. I think we should have a date every now and then. We get so caught up in the day to day managing of this household we forget we need to connect with each other in meaningful ways. I want to feel in love again and stop feeling like we are just roommates. Maybe if we both agree that our marriage needs work and then agree to try to fix what is wrong, we can find our happily ever after, after all.

Then there is the subject of sex. The research I did said that if you and your partner have not had sex for a while then one of you needs to take the initiative and seduce the other. I went out today and bought some new lingerie and some new candles. I had time to get them into the bedroom and set up already. After dinner I will excuse myself and go put on the lingerie and light the candles. Ooh, I will put on some romantic music, too. Then I will take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom for an unforgettable night.

I am going to make these little changes starting tonight and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to save my marriage.

How To Mend A Broken Relationship

There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.

If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.

If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.

If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.

I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.

How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.

Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.

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How To Get Over A Breakup - Without Killing Yourself

The best way I can tell you to start on your path on how to get over a breakup is to take things day by day. Do not make any drastic moves or do anything stupid. Concentrate on how you feel and what it is going to take to feel human again.

Breakups are tough and can leave you feeling detached from the world, not to mention your mind from your body. You have been dealt this blow by someone who once said they loved you. You thought that meant something and it is hard to accept that maybe they were not quite truthful about their feelings.

Whether they once meant it or not, you probably will never know. My advice is to believe they did love you at some point. Believing will help keep your own self-esteem positive and make it easier for you to learn how to move on.

You are sad, hurt and angry. By all means possible, do not ignore how you are feeling. You need to allow yourself the time to wallow in these feelings. Do yourself a favor though by not wallowing for too long. Start to pick up the pieces as soon as you can.

Changes have to be made and made soon. You need to fugure out how to live single again. The sooner you do this the better off you will be. so, where do you start learning how to get over a breakup?

Like I said, go ahead and wallow but give yourself a time limit. Then, get out and do something to make yourself feel alive again. Spend some money on a new outfit, buy some flowers for your house, get a manicure, volunteer some of your time at a daycare center. Just be out in the world.

Do not, under any circumstances, contact your ex. This will only keep the sadness, hurt and anger close to the surface and keep you from dealing effectively with these feelings.

Stay away from bars and clubs. Alcohol in excess will also only keep your feelings from fading. If you get drunk you may begin to feel that you can do or say something to try to get your ex back. The only thing you will accomplish is making a fool of yourself and you really don't need that either. Remember when I said do not do anything stupid? Adding alcohol to an already bad situation is stupid. Don't do it.

Focus on improving YOURSELF. Make an appointment with your stylist and get a new do or get your butt to that gym you joined a year ago and get in shape. Just do anything and everything you can think of to make yourself feel good. You will start to feel better and better as each day goes by. You will find yourself smiling and having fun again someday soon. Then you can be proud of yourself that you learned how to get over a breakup all by yourself and came out the other side stronger.

How To Survive A Break Up - Reconnect With Yourself

Relationships can be tricky. One moment they are going great, and the next you are breaking up. It's even worse when you had no idea that the two of you were on the verge of splitting up. However, a break up doesn't have to break you as a person.

If he just dumped you, then you are most likely anxious about two things. The first is that you feel so hurt you are wondering if you will ever be able to be happy again. The second thing is the fear that nobody else will ever love you. Okay, here's the truth: the hurt feeling and anxiety are both very real. However, these are mostly mental conditions you are creating in your own mind.

While the love you get from a romantic relationship is different than the kind you get from friends and family, it can really help to ease the pain of a break up if you remember that there are other people in the world that care for you. If spirituality is important to you, then you can also tap into that for more love. Granted, this is not a direct replacement, but it is a way to help you get things back under control and help you to move on.

The next step is to reconnect or spend more time with those same people. Not only will you feel the good vibes that their feelings for you bring, but chances are that they too have gone through a break up at some point in their lives. With any luck, they will share stories of their break ups, and how they were able to go on with their lives. There can be a great comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

Still, being dumped sucks. There's no way around it, but that doesn't mean you have to let it ruin your life, either. In fact, you can turn the tables by using all of your new free time to focus on improving your life. Being involved in a relationship takes a lot of time and commitment. Even if it was near-perfect, you still had to consider the wants and needs of your partner. But not anymore. Now is the time to do all of those you wanted, it's time to care of number one, it's time to do what you want without worrying about somebody else.

Spending time on yourself is a great start, and should help you to start feeling empowered to do what you want to do. Now you can take it a step further and do something for others. What we're talking about here is volunteering. Not only will you be playing a small part in making the world a better place for someone, it will also help you to get out and be with other people.

Being dumped is only the end of a relationship, not the end of the world. It may feel like it for a while, but it's up to you to do what needs to be done to carry on. You already have a few good ideas to get started on the right path to having a happier future.

How To Get Your Girlfriend Back

“Who Else Wants To Learn The Secrets To Getting Back Together With Their Ex?”

Have you ever not too long ago cut up up together with your girlfriend? Are you having a real exhausting time excited about anything and would do anything to get your girlfriend back.

When we’ve damaged up with somebody we care about, it is quite widespread and natural to experience an entire vary of feelings similar to guilt, anger, despair, blame, frustration and regret. Regardless of the feelings you might be going by at this time, when you really need your girlfriend back, then it’s time to be brutally sincere with yourself without letting those feelings cloud your thinking.

What triggered the break up?

Was it one thing you probably did, or didn?t do?  Is it one thing that may be remedied, or is it too late? If it’s not too late try to be doing whatever is critical, irrespective of how painful you think it might be, to succeed.

If it was one thing you did or didn?t do and you’ll repair it now, then fix it If it was something you mentioned or didn?t say, and you may fix it now, then repair it.  Say you’re sorry (and mean it) and try to make amends. If this is all you want to do, you’re a very fortunate person. It’s probably, nonetheless, that you could be need to do much more to get your girlfriend back.

If no matter brought on the break up can?t be fastened, you will have to just accept the actual fact and transfer on together with your life. Nonetheless, make an effort to let your girlfriend know that you’re sorry and that in the event you might change stuff you most certainly would.

Earlier than we take a look at some of the ways to get your girlfriend again, whether you follow the recommendation or not, be true to the person you are. Pretending to be who or what you aren’t may be just right for you within the quick time period however, imagine me, you’ll come to remorse it later and run the chance of breaking apart for good anyway.

Undoubtedly not worth it.

That doesn?t imply you shouldn?t change for the better. Take into consideration the way in which you look, the way you act, what irritating habits you might have for example and change. Avoid attempting to be who you assume your girlfriend desires you to be.

There are lots of positive ways of getting your girlfriend back. We are going to cowl more of them in later articles. Listed below are a number of that positively open the door to success.

When you’ve got let your look slip up to now or are thinking what’s the level now, then stop. You will need to remind your ex girlfriend just how good you probably did look and can look whenever you make the effort. Make sure that your clothes are stylish, go well with you and that you are well groomed.

What you might be doing here is exhibiting her and others that issues are back to regular and you may be that person who existed earlier than breaking up or the person that attracted her to you within the first place.

Ensure she notices the trouble you may have made however don?t go chasing her to show it. Yes it should take time but it will be value it. Isn?t it?

Let others discover you and luxuriate in it without causing your ex girlfriend to turn into jealous or upset. This is not a game. Flirting or falsely trying to impress her might be counter productive. What’s most important is that she comes again to you because she truly needs to.

Timing can be each thing. She could provide you with indicators that she desires to come back again soon after the break up or it can take weeks, even months. During this time, you will have a vital function to play ? be her friend. This helps you to stay close and to show you’ve got changed for the better. It should additionally help you to identify the inexperienced light when it goes on and you can begin to get your girlfriend back.

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How To Stop A Relationship Breakup

Learning how to stop a relationship breakup is not as difficult as it may seem. All it takes is learning how to communicate with your spouse on a different level. Remember what it was like when you first got together? You talked about anything and everything and agreed on most things too. What happened?

Well, most likely, somewhere along the line one of you got your feelings hurt by what the other one said or did and it did not get addressed. Little resentments then started to creep their way in and got bigger and bigger. If one of you is stuck at home most days and the other one gets to go out and play all the time, more resentments build. One blames the other for their unhappiness and soon you find yourselves caught in a tailspin just waiting to crash and burn.

If you really don't want that to happen then you need to figure out how to stop a relationship breakup before it gets too out of control and all of a sudden divorce court is looming in front of you. How do you do that?

The first step, both of you, stop being so selfish! This is supposed to be a partnership not one pitted against the other. It's not about what each of you as individuals get out of this relationship, it's about what the two of you can accomplish together. Take stock of what you have built together. When all the pettiness gets swept out of the way and it comes right down to brass tacks, do you still love each other? Are you still 'in love' with each other?

If the answer is yes then just start treating each other better. If you have done something wrong, fix it. Say, "I'm sorry", and mean it. A little sorry goes a long way to fixing hurt feelings and whittling away at those little resentments that have built up for so long.

TALK to each other, not at each other. ASK how the other is doing, how their day was. LISTEN to each other, more importantly, HEAR each other. CARE about what is important to them, CARE about how they feel. Ask if there is anything you can do to take a little stress off of them. They will appreciate it and when it comes to your turn they will remember what you did for them and then do it for you. This is called GIVE and TAKE. When one of you does all the giving and the other does all the taking once again, those little resentments build and build.

It will take some practice, human beings are inherently selfish, and it takes some work to be the partner you should be when you are in a committed relationship. A few simple changes in how you approach your spouse or significant other will aid you in learning how to stop a relationship breakup.

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How To Win Love Back The Sneaky Way

A lot of us get advice about how to start a relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of us never learn anything about how to win love back after things go south. The truth is that after a break up, most people go about trying to patch things up the wrong way. Perhaps the biggest mistake they make is constantly trying to talk to their ex. Sure, their intentions are good in that they only want a chance to tell them how they really feel, but this will backfire nearly every single time. What you need to do is follow proven ways to get your ex back.

As you may have guess the first step of how to win love back is to do nothing. This means breaking off all contact with your ex for a while. To be clear "no contact" includes writing letters, telephone calls, bumping into them "accidentally", text messages and emails. It also means that sending gifts and flowers isn't a good idea.

The problem with doing these things is that it makes you appear desperate. Typically speaking, women aren't attracted to mean that appear to be weak, and men aren't attracted to women who are emotionally insecure. Now, that's not to say that having those feelings makes you weak or insecure, but that it can appear that way if you're trying to hard to contact your ex. So, it's easy to see that breaking off all contact is a smarter way to start the process of how to win love back.

So, what you need instead is a plan to make them desperate to get back together with you. And, by breaking off contact, you have already got them thinking about you. See, your ex is probably expecting you to try to get in touch with them, and when you don't it will drive them crazy, and make them wonder even more about you.

Another big mistake people will make in the effort of how to win love back is trying to play the jealousy card. They go out with somebody else in the hopes that it will show their ex that they are really worth having. However, this can have the opposite effect. Your ex may see you with the other person and feel as though they are off the hook, and they will forget about you then and there. The other problem with doing it this way is that you are really just using the new person you're with and that's not fair to them.

The better way to look better to your ex is to just go out and have some fun. Loosen up, be yourself and get together with your friends. Don't try to find somebody new to make your ex jealous, just focus on having a good time. Word will eventually get back to your ex that you're doing fine and this will make you look better to them. It will make them start seeing that maybe you are worth being with after all, and that is a much better method of how to win love back.

How To Deal With A Break Up - Simple Quick Tips

If you're still smarting from a painful breakup, take heart, there is help on how to deal with a break up. Following a few simple tips can help you move through the healing process much more quickly and without doing anything that you'll regret once the dust settles.

The first thing you need to do is to stop and think. Give yourself a week or two and just go easy on yourself. Don't worry too much if your bathroom needs to be cleaned or if your hair needs to be cut, just take things slow and allow yourself to process everything that has happened. Try to continue to do things that will create problems in the future if they're not taken care of, such as going to work or paying your bills on time, but anything that won't create a problem if you ignore it for a little while... ignore it.

Just make sure that this period of 'mourning' is a limited time offer. Only allow yourself a week or two and then kick yourself (or have a friend do it) in the behind and get going. No one is saying that after a few weeks you should be over it, you won't be, but a few weeks is enough time to process everything and then it's time to get going and start living your life to the fullest again while you continue to heal.

Step two is to make sure that you still take care of you. Now that you've had some down time, it's time to rejoin the human race. Make sure that even though you still feel down that you take the time to eat properly and get enough exercise and sleep. This is not the time to start drinking or sleeping around. Those things may offer a little short term relief but remember at the beginning of the article I said that I'd help you move on with your dignity intact, doing either of these things won't help your dignity at all, so don't do them.

Step three of how to deal with a break up is to make sure that you accept that the relationship is done and avoid your ex at all costs. If the two of you move in the same social circles and you see them when you're out with friends, don't talk to them. You don't have to be rude, a nod will be ok, but don't try to engage them. This is a vulnerable time for you and if you have had a drink or two you can really say or do something that you'll regret. Just steer clear until you're stronger.

And the last thing to keep in mind is that you will have to just give it time. The amount of time it takes for you to move on to the point where you're happy, smiling and looking forward to the future will depend on many factors, every one is different. Just hang in there until you reach that point and even though it may seem impossible now remember that you will reach that point one day. These tips will help you learn how to deal with a break up so your dignity isn't compromised and you won't have a lot of baggage to carry into the next relationship.

Teenage Relationship Abuse - Dont Let It Happen To Your Teen

When it comes to an abusive relationship, the abuse can be manifested in many ways. We often think only of physical or sexual abuse, but in reality things such as 'teasing' and mocking someone and constantly undermining a persons worth can also be classified as abusive. When it comes to identifying signs of teenage relationship abuse it's even more important, as a parent, that we know what to be on the lookout for.

Hopefully, you've shown your child that they can trust you with their problems so they'll be more likely to confide in you if something is going on, but the truth is that even if you and your child have good communication skills they still may be too uncomfortable to talk openly about the problem with you. Knowing what to look for can help you identify a potential problem even if your teen isn't willing to talk about it.

It's not uncommon for a teenage abuser to threaten to tarnish the reputation of their victim. With all the pressure to fit in when in high school, this can be a remarkably effective way for an abuser to keep his victim in line. As a parent, this can be a nightmare scenario - your kid in trouble but unwilling to let you help.

Here are some things you can keep an eye out for as they may indicate an abusive relationship:

1. If your teen suddenly seems to be getting hurt a lot it could be a sign of trouble. It's not uncommon for the victim of physical abuse to suddenly seem to have a lot of 'accidents' and become 'clumsy', but very often these bruises and cuts are signs that they are being physically abused and they are just too embarrassed to talk about it.

2. One of the most common techniques that abusers use is to isolate their victim, they will force them to cut off ties with friends and family, since it is easier to victimize them if they don't have a support system. If your teen suddenly loses interest in seeing their old friends or becomes even more reclusive around family, you may want to investigate further. I know teens can be somewhat reclusive anyway when it comes to spending time with family, but if they seem to get worse suddenly especially after they start seeing someone new, it may be cause for concern.

3. If your teen suddenly starts getting poor grades or doesn't seem interested in the hobbies they used to enjoy, again, this could be a sign of some problem.

No parent wants to think of their kid as being mistreated by anyone, that may be why it's so difficult for parents to grasp just how much of a problem teenage relationship abuse is becoming. Just try to always keep open lines of communication with your child, and teach them to trust their instincts, just as you should always trust yours. If you think that something is wrong with your kid and/or the person they are dating... it probably is.

I Need Relationship Help

If you're thinking to yourself, "I think I need relationship help", then you probably do. When things start to go south in a relationship, it seems that the last person you want to go to for help is also the one you should be talking to the most, your partner. Communication is essential in any relationship and when it breaks down it can sometimes be hard to get back but it's not impossible.

Start by making a list of the things in your relationship that are bothering you. No matter what it is, be honest and don't just make it all about the other person. Relationships take two to work or not work and if you are feeling bad about your relationship, so is your partner. When you've made your list, invite your partner to discuss the problems you've outlined.

During your talk, keep in mind to never, ever lay blame on the other person. Never start a sentence with, 'YOU' do this or 'YOU' do that. Start your sentences with, 'I FEEL' this and 'I FEEL' that. The only thing laying blame will accomplish is making your partner feel they have to defend themselves, probably start a fight and defeat the whole purpose of trying to improve your relationship. So be open and honest about your concerns but never be hurtful.

Make sure to ask your partner how they feel about the direction your relationship is heading. Find out what they think they need and/or want from you to make your relationship successful and then voice your own concerns, wants and needs.

If talking things through doesn't seem to help, then it may be time to consult an 'I need relationship help' professional. That doesn't mean your mother or your brother or your sister, aunt, uncle or cousin. Keep things between you private, the less input you get from biased sources the easier it will be to resolve the aspects of your relationship that need to be resolved. Families tend to take sides and that will only stoke the fire.

When you've talked about things and feel you both are ready to start seeing a relationship counselor, if you do, make a list (or take the one you've already made) of things to discuss. The relationship counselor will help you both sort things out and keep them in perspective. They know the right questions to ask and what buttons to push to get you thinking and can keep the discussion heading in the right direction.

A relationship counselor will give you exercises, or homework, to teach yourselves the art of communication outside his or her office. Follow what he or she tells you closely. Who knows, you may begin to have so much fun learning how to communicate with each other some of the problems your were facing may just fade away. It's all perception and if your perception changes and you are seeing things from both sides instead of just your own, then maybe you could stop thinking 'I need relationship help'.

Getting Over A Break Up With Class

Breaking up is a drag. Okay, I will admit that that sounds quite obvious, but if you have recently gone through a break up, then you know just how tough it can really be. You are not alone if you're experiencing a virtual roller coaster of emotions. One moment you are so filled with anger that yo feel like you could kill them, then the next moment you miss them so much that all you can think about is getting back with your ex. All of these feelings, while difficult, are totally normal.

While some people may say a break up isn't as bad as dying, there are some similarities. For example, you are losing a part of your life; someone that was close to you; perhaps someone you thought of as being one with yourself. Without them your life seems empty. In other words, it feels just as though something has died inside of you. The other similarity is the grieving process. After somebody dies, it's typical for their loved ones to go through what's known as the "five stages of grief". There are definitely stages that people go through after a break up, too.

An excellent first step to do after a break up is to write a letter to your ex. Say everything that you are feeling. Don't hold anything back. Pour your heart out and don't leave anything back. Talk about the good times and bad times, talk about how they shattered your dreams of a happy future together, call them every nasty name in the book you can think of, bare your soul and keep on writing until there is nothing more to be said. You can do this because your ex will never read it. In fact, nobody will because the other part of this exercise is to burn the letter after you write it. Doing this will allow you to get all of the pent up emotions out of your system without running the risk of making things worse between you and your ex.

Another important part of getting over a break up is to make sure there aren't any loose ends that one of you can use to manipulate the other. So, if there are any bills that you are partially responsible for, pay your share as soon as possible. If there is any property held in common then sit down and work out who gets what. If you can't decide who should get certain items then you could always agree to sell those items and split whatever money you get for them.

Once you have these loose ends tied up, then you should break off any and all contact with your ex for a few weeks. This will prevent each of you from saying or doing things you may regret later. Whether you end up getting back with your ex or not, you should still do what you can to remain respectful toward one another.

Do I Need Relationship Help

If you are asking yourself and anybody else who will listen, "Do I need relationship help?", then my response would be, if you are asking the question the answer is probably yes. No relationship is perfect and neither are the two individuals trying to make a go of it. Each one involved brings their own unique set of qualities to a relationship, good and bad.

Since we are all products of how we were raised, if your parents had a good relationship, respected each other, listened to one another and didn't fight about everything under the sun then you were shown your entire young life how to have a good relationship. Your parents gave you the tools you need to have a successful, loving relationship and you probably didn't even realize it.

On the other hand, if your parents didn't have a good relationship, disrespected each other, ignored each other and fought about anything and everything, they gave you a whole different set of tools. If this is the case, it is understandable why you are asking, "Do I need relationship help?"

If you do find yourself asking this question, good for you, this is a positive step believe it or not. It means you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve on yourself and become a true partner in your relationship. If you and your significant other are on the same page then you can both grow together and no one gets left behind.

So, where do you find the information you need to improve a relationship? There are several places you can look.

1. Self-help books - a good resource for insight into what it takes to have a good relationship. You don't get any feedback from a book so there will be some trial and error to find what works for your relationship and what doesn't.

2. Counseling - a third party to listen and offer advice when the problems seem too big to handle on your own. You will get plenty of feedback here so be prepared.

3. Your parents - They can give you a wealth of information on how they managed to stay married for as long as they have. Just remember, everyone is different and so is every situation. Don't try to be your parents, be yourself. Don't get too specific, try to talk in general terms when involving your parents, they worry about you enough.

4. Your significant other - Yes, yes and yes! Who else would you talk to about YOUR relationship? You would think this would be a no-brainer but you would be surprised at how may people start to see their partner as their enemy, instead of their ally, when things aren't going well.

So if you are insightful enough to ask, "Do I need relationship help?" then also be open to trying every single suggestion or recommendation given to you to help improve your relationship. It will definitely be worth all the hard work.

How To Reverse A Break Up

If you are wondering how to reverse a break up, I've got some fairly simple suggestions for you. Obviously, I can't promise you anything but this is as good a place to start as any. If you let things get so bad that your SO thought a break up was his or her only option, here is where you need to start when trying to make it all better.

1. Accept Responsibility - Yup, and this may be hard for you but you need to accept responsibility for whatever part you played in the break up. This is the biggest and best thing you can do to try to get your relationship back on track. If your ex will listen, explain that you know what happened and understand that they were hurt by it. Tell them you will do whatever it takes to not let anything like that happen again. Admit you had a moment of weakness and didn't take their feelings or the possible consequences into consideration.

2. Apologize - With as much sincerity as you can come up with. Really mean it. Saying you are sorry for something you have done wrong is important and you would be surprised how healing it can be for both of you. It will also show your ex that now, at least, you are paying attention to how and what he or she are feeling. Apologizing may start to put you back into his or her good graces.

3. Get Help - No one is perfect and we all could use a little guidance from time to time. A good relationship counselor can show you ways on how to reverse a break up. It would be best to go to a relationship counselor together but if your ex won't go with you, by yourself. Once your ex sees the positive changes you are making, he or she might just agree to give it a shot.

4. Talk - Don't argue and don't talk at each other. Arguing will not accomplish anything and will only leave you both feeling worse about your situation. So stay calm and each of you take as much time as you need and just get everything out. Take notes if you have to. Then start to talk through each issue until you work things out and you both understand where each other is coming from.

It is said that trust is the basis of every good relationship. When you are in a committed relationship you give your trust to that particular person and hope he or she will cherish it and hold it dear to their heart. When that trust is broken the one who trusted you feels betrayed and now vulnerable to the world because not only do they not trust you but they cannot trust themselves anymore. So if you want to know how to reverse a break up work hard and take the time to gain that person's trust back.

Ideal Relationship - Flexiabilty Is Your Silver Bullet

Some friends and I were having a conversation the other day about what we considered to be an ideal relationship. We all are very different and like different things in our relationships, but we found that we did all seem to agree on some basics. Some things we didn't agree on since some of us are more free spirited than others, but the basics were the same.

If you want to find the perfect relationship you have to understand which things you can (and should be) a little flexible on and what things you shouldn't be willing to settle on. Once you've got that foundation it will make it easier to hold out until you find someone who may not be perfect, but they're perfect for you.

Here are some things that most people would consider to be basic traits to have in order to create a great relationship. If one or more of these traits are missing you may want to keep looking for someone special:

1. Honesty. If you can't trust the person you're with your life is not going to be very easy or fulfilling. It's not much fun to be in a relationship with someone you can't trust.

Think of how it would be if you could not only not trust your partner with the big things, such as being faithful or taking good care of the money, but the small things too. You and your partner both need to have high standards when it comes to being honest.

2. Maturity. The older you get and the closer you may be getting to the age you may want to settle down and have a family, the more important this trait becomes. Life has it's ups and downs and you want someone by your side who isn't going to flake out and fall to pieces every time you hit a bump in the road.

You want someone who can have fun (maturity has nothing to do with being old or 'stodgy' it just means you know when to act silly and when to suck it up and take care of business) but still have your back when you need them. It's also an important trait when it comes to working through tough issues and being able to communicate.

3. Good communication skills. This is important because if the two of you can't talk about difficult issues (and the longer you're together the more difficult issues that will arise), your relationship isn't going to be a smooth one.

You both have to know how to constructively express the way you're feeling as well as listen as objectively as possible to what your partner is saying to you, even if it's not something that you really want to hear.

Everyone has their own definition of what the ideal relationship would be. Some people are drawn to someone with a sense of humor while others like someone who is serious, but the bottom line is above and beyond all that you want someone who has the traits I've listed above because without them, you won't have a a solid relationship.

Are You A Senior Looking For Romance - Open Your Mind

Dating can be a bit daunting when you are a senior but you deserve to be happy so why not take the chance and try to find that special person that can add some romance into your life. The hardest step is making the actual decision to go ahead and get back into the dating game.

Here are some tips that can help you re-enter the dating scene.

1. Enter the dating scene with an open mind. Remember that you are much older than you were when you were dating as s teen or young adult and the men you will be dating are also much older. Physical attraction is important but just don't expect a James Dean lookalike. Compatibility is also very important and you want to date someone with similar interests that you will be comfortable spending time with.

2. Don't expect to find Mr. Right on your first date; it is never as easy as that. You may need to go on a few dates with different people before finding the right man for you. Often love finds you when you aren't looking for it so just be open to meeting new people and even widen your circle of friends, you never know where you will find Mr. Right.

3. Don't be in a rush to find Mr. Right, just take your time. When you start dating someone just take things slowly and let the relationship progress at its own pace. Just go out and enjoy yourself and if the man you date isn't happy to take things slow, then he probably isn't Mr. Right anyway.

4. Don't spend your first date talking about your ex. There is nothing that will scare a man off faster than someone constantly talking about their ex. It doesn't matter if you talk about him in a nice way or a bad way, just don't talk about him much or at all.

5. Join a dating club, a seniors club or an online dating site. There are many ways to meet new people if you put yourself out there and join some of these organisations. Just sign up and enjoy yourself doing it, if you are too apprehensive this will come across to your potential date. You will be much more attractive to a man if you are seen as someone who enjoys life.

6. Be honest. Although you are older and think that a photo might not attract any dates, the truth is that if you use a fake photo, the truth will come out eventually when you meet the man. Use a photo of yourself but use one that is flattering. You will also want to use one that is reasonably recent, there is no point putting a photo of yourself when you were 20. When you write a description about yourself be honest there too. You can write flattering points as long as they are honest. Remember, the truth comes out eventually.

The most important point when you get back into the dating scene is to enjoy yourself. You only live once so you might as well enjoy it. If someone doesn't like your sense of humour or doesn't like your photo, then they aren't worth dating anyway. Mr. Right will come along and he will like you for who you really are, so just go out and have some fun.

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Understand Men | How to Understand What Men Want

“If Only I Could Understand Men….”

Ladies,

When it comes to ways to understand men, you got to think outside of your comfort zone. Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated.

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Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand men in order the know what they really want in a relationship. Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts.

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What’s a woman to do?

Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.

1) Men are more sensitive than women. While some women might find that hard to believe, it’s true. Men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman.

Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a woman tells a man that he should “let his feelings out,” what he translates that to mean I want you to tell me how much you really love me.

2) Men hate fighting. A man would rather say what’s on his mind and walk away. Men don’t want to have those long fights that start in the evening and ends two days later. Once we say what we wanted to say, it’s over. At least that is what we think and wish would happen. One of the biggest problems most men have when it comes to fighting is that we can dish it, but we can’t take it.

Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.

3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. It really sucks being alone and most men will tell you that if given a choice of being alone or being married they will pick marriage.

While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful. When a man opens up to a woman he don’t expect that woman to go an tell all of her girlfriends about how he finally open up.

Ladies do this sound like you…

When we first started dating he would take me to fun places and we would go out all the time. He would listen to everything I had to say and he understood what I was talking about.  Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying.  They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped being romantic.

What did I do wrong?

I just dont’ understand men because I think I’m attractive, I have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape.  So why then, do I always end up with the men who just come over to sit around my place and watch sports all evening.

What happen to the romance?

I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men.  I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them.

What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”

Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them.

What you are missing here is that you need to attract the right type of man.

Most women that find it hard to keep a good man always talk with another woman to find out what they are doing wrong. Big mistake. If you want to understand men, you need to talk to men.

Do you know of someone who has a pattern of always dating losers, bad boys, who always break their heart and leave them crying?

For those women, oftentimes they need help in identifying the signs of such unreliable men.

To me a loser is a man who is totally into himself and has little empathy for a woman’s needs. He is a man who has a pattern of sweet talking women in an attempt to sweep them off their feet and into the nearest bed. Player’s are more concern with how many women they can sleep with at one time. Players’s will wine and dine you and tell you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have met you. Once they get into bed with you, your services are no longer required. This is especially true if you are lousy in bed. I hate to say this, but some women and men are just lousy when it comes to sex.

Players are wonderful in the beginning of a relationship; however, in time they most always become less attached and more distant to their partner. Some never call back, others break dates and some even “forget” their wallet and their date ends up paying for the meal.

Have you ever met or dated a man such as this? Perhaps he never said he loved you, and whenever you spoke about commitment, he would change the subject.

The truth is that no woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I need to find a man who will hurt me”, but if you keep setting yourself up to get hurt…guess what. You will get hurt.

Rather what most often happens is that many women (and men) tend to confuse intensity with reliability. They meet someone who makes them FEEL wonderful or excited and they assume that he is a good man.

The problem isn’t that their feelings are wrong. What gets them into trouble is that their intense feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.

If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman.

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Understand Men | How to Understand What Men Want

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How To Reconcile A Broken Relationship

During conversation with friends, someone asks how to reconcile a broken relationship. It gets you thinking about your last relationship and how you were certain you had found the love of your life but you eventually messed up anyway and she divorced you. Now you are thinking you want to try to get her back.

Since we all know you can't change anybody but yourself, the best way to go about that is to find a way to start making the changes you need to make in yourself. Don't think it will happen overnight because it won't. Some people are capable of making the life changes they need to make on their own but I recommend starting off by talking to a professional counselor and maybe joining a support group depending on what the problem was in your relationship.

If you are going to make lasting changes you need to find the training to do it. Just like going to college and earning your degree then training for your first job. You didn't know it before you learned it or trained for it. Making a relationship last is not any different. Life is a learning process. We are all works in progress. We are not born just knowing everything we need to know. Especially not knowing how to reconcile a broken relationship.

When your extensive training is complete, however long it takes, then you can approach your ex and simply ask to speak to her over coffee. Don't make any drastic moves at this point. You need to show her that you have changed and she has to learn to trust you again. This will all take time, probably several months at least. She is not going to jump right back into a relationship with someone who hurt her badly.

Say she agrees to have coffee with you, now what? Just talk to her. Keep the conversation light and don't get into anything heavy right off the bat. You will scare her off. Make her wonder what you are up to, keep her guessing. You want her to keep thinking about you after coffee. Don't tell her yet what you have been doing to improve yourself, show her. Let her start to see the new you. When she sees the changes you have made for herself she may even ask if you have been seeing a counselor. Now is the time you can tell her all about the improvements you have made and why.

If she is receptive to giving you and the relationship a second chance, ask her out on a real date and treat her like the love of your life you always thought she was. Also, sooner rather than later, sincerely apologize for any pain you caused her the first time around. If she forgives you, you know all your hard work was worth it and that she understands and trusts that you figured out how to reconcile a broken relationship.

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Overcoming A Relationship Break Up

There are many ways to handle overcoming a relationship break up. One way is to write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal. Next time you go to the store buy yourself a nice notebook. Put it next to your bed on your night table with a pen. Each night when you go to bed spend a minute or two writing down how you felt about one aspect of your relationship. This is a great way to vent your feelings and keep your emotions under control. Writing things in a journal will help you heal.

Another way is to get out with your best friend or group of friends for some fun. Go sing some karaoke in your favorite neighborhood bar. Don't stay home alone. All you'll end up doing is focusing on what could have been instead of what is and what will be. So get out and try to have some fun with friends.

How about renting a couple of good comedy flicks to help you take your mind off all that pain you are feeling? Good idea, huh? Invite that Best Friend Forever over for a night of popcorn and laughs. You will definitely feel better in the morning because it is a well known fact that if you can laugh, whatever it is that's bothering you is really not that bad.

Dance your pain away. Seriously, turn on the radio, turn it up and just dance, dance, dance. Soon you will be laughing and having the time of your life and will forget all about, who again? See? It's working already. Pretty soon you will start to think that overcoming a relationship break up is a piece of cake.

Change your routine, drive a different way to work, go to a museum, go shopping and buy yourself something new, read a scary novel (stay away from the romance novels though they tend to make things worse for the reader). Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off whatsher/whatshisname. Heck, you are probably better off without them anyway. It may not feel like it now but, who knows, maybe there is someone better waiting for you just around the next corner. You will never know if you keep yourself holed up in your home with the blinds down and the curtains drawn.

Basically what you need to do here is fake it till you make it. Smile when you don't feel like it and the next thing you know you catch yourself smiling for no apparent reason. Sometimes that's just what you have to do to get through the day. The pain you feel now will not last forever and in a couple of months when you meet someone new and better for you, you will even wonder why you made such a big deal over this one. Breaking up can feel like the end of the world but overcoming a relationship break up can show you a whole brand new one.

How Soon Is Too Soon Or Not Soon Enough

Inevitably, when you are part of the dating world, you will need to face the question of just how soon you should let things move to a more physically intimate level. This is just a gentle and polite way of saying you will need to decide when the time is right to have sex. While this should be a rather simple thing to figure out, especially for adults, it can actually be a bit tricky.

First of all, even when you’re well past the age of consent and, possibly, heading into early middle age, there’s still a right time and a wrong time to move forward sexually. It really doesn’t matter how enlightened people in the 21st century think they are, men still have a certain way of viewing a woman who will jump right into bed with them, no questions asked. If this describes you, don’t be too surprised if a lot of guys are not calling you back. When you allow yourself to be used in this fashion, chances are you’re giving in MUCH too soon and these guys are just having a quick release with you.

This brings us to the First Date Rule. Agreeing to sex on the first date is a huge no-no. The only way that this is acceptable and probably not damaging to the budding relationship and your reputation is if the man is someone you’ve known for a very long time and friendship has transitioned into romance. In all other instances, the first date is completely too soon for such intimacy. Kiss all you want, but keep it on simmer.

Are you hoping to find that the second date is a more acceptable time frame to have sex for the first time with someone new? You should hear the Second Date Rule if you truly believe that. The second date is also too soon to hop into bed. Keep in mind that this is particularly true if you’re just getting to know someone new. Two dates is not enough time to know someone THAT well.

While many people seem to adhere to the Third Date Rule, that may still be a bit too soon if you really want this to turn into something wonderful. Too many people tend to do things backwards in relationships. For example, they meet at a bar or a party or wherever, spend some time drinking and talking, head back to his place or hers, and then have sex. Most of the time, they don’t even know each other’s last names. Also, these encounters typically turn into one night stands, which are never favorable when it comes to having a true relationship.

If a real relationship is what you’re trying to find, give it some time before you give into your hormonal desires. Let the connection between the two of you grow and take time to really get to know each other. No, it doesn’t have to be YEARS, but at least give it time to feel 100 percent right in every way. There’s much more of a chance for a successful relationship then.

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Hurting Over A Breakup Relationship Help

If you are hurting over a breakup relationship help is not as hard to find as you might think. It starts with you. If you feel you have the strength to tackle the way you feel by yourself then do so. Step back and assess your situation. Ask yourself how you really feel and be honest with yourself. Breaking up with someone is tough and you need all the strength you can muster to get through it.

First, and this is very important, let yourself feel the pain. Go ahead and wallow in it for a while. But only for a while. You need this very important step. Stay in bed for a day and cry your eyes out. Go get that pint of ice cream (or gallon) and sit in front of the TV and eat it til you can't eat anymore. Punch a pillow. Throw marshmallows as hard as you can into the sink. Do whatever you need to do to constructively deal with your pain. Believe this or not doing this is actually setting the foundation for the next weeks and months to come as you settle back into single life.

Dealing with your pain the right way can be empowering. That that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know you have heard that saying and it is true. Like I said, if you are hurting over a breakup relationship help yourself. You will come out the other side a better, more confident person.

Now, what do you do after your day of wallowing? Wallow no more! Onward and upward! You are probably better off without the one you broke up with anyway. Seriously, take a good long look at your life and start to make some plans. Having a goal in mind will help keep you focused. Make a list of things you want to do. Take a vacation, go back to school, reconnect with old friends or heck, clean out that closet you have been meaning to get to. Organize your thoughts and your life and the rest will follow.

I believe, like many people do, that everything happens for a reason. Something good always come out of a bad situation. You just have to wait for it. Don't go looking for it, it will come to you. I also believe that everything we go through is a learning experience and you take what you learn from one experience to the next. Some call this learning from our mistakes. I like to think it's a little more spiritual than that. So you just went through a breakup, that person wasn't 'the one' anyway and you knew it from the start. So you take what you learned from that experience and tuck it away. Now you have that information to fall back on when your 'the one' makes their way into your life.

Once again, take a day and wallow then make a plan, set some goals, and organize things. Then you won't need any more hurting over a breakup relationship help.

Break Up Help Advice

If you and your significant other are about to break up help is out there to show you how to get it done right. Don't ever break up with someone over the phone or in a text message. Break up with them in person, preferably in private. Don't humiliate them by breaking up in public. You will end up having more respect for yourself and although they will not like the fact you are breaking up with them, they will have more respect for you in the long run.

Obviously, if your significant other has a tendency to become violent this advice will not apply to your situation. Stay safe and handle the break up over the phone or in public.

Honesty is important, but if the reason you need break up help is that you have met someone else, keep that information to yourself. Even if they ask, don't tell them. There is no point in causing them more pain than they feel already. Go ahead and start your new relationship, but do yourself a favor even though you may not want to, try to keep it on the down-low. At least for a while. You don't want your ex to come at you or your new love in a jealous rage. Make your new memories together in new places, special only to the two of you.

Plan out what you want to say beforehand because no matter how you feel you will be nervous when breaking up with them. Stand your ground. You have made this decision for a reason so stick to it. You will sound less convincing if you try to let them down easy. They will be just as hurt either way so state your reasons calmly and confidently...then run for cover, lol.

When the break up is done, don't call them for any reason and don't take their calls. This will only give them false hope and keep the hurt fresh in both your minds. Don't kid yourself, you will feel a sense of loss after the break up, too. Change the habits the two of you had. Don't keep going to the same coffee house or restaurants you did when you were together. You might accidentally bump into them and then they might think you were there just to see them.

If you haven't already met someone new, it's probably best to hold off on dating for a while. You may have had more time to process the break up than your ex, but you should still give yourself some time to adjust to your new single life. It sounds weird, but even if you're the one who ended the relationship, you can be vulnerable to a rebound relationship too, so give it some time.

Most people don't realize that no matter which side of the break up you are on, it's tough. Unless your ex was a real jerk, you'll want to find a way to end the relationship as gently, yet firmly, as possible. Following these tips will give you all the break up help you need.

Power Relationship - Does Only 1 Have The Power

Power relationship struggles are all too common. Even in the best relationships there is a balance of power. The more even the balance of power is, the better the relationship. If one person has virtually all the power that creates a very unhealthy dynamic and it should be changed or the relationship should be ended.

As uncomfortable as it may be to admit, the balance of power in any relationship usually revolves around who has the money. If one person contributes more financially to the relationship in most cases they will be the one with the most power. The other person is often very reluctant to argue or disagree with the 'powerful' person.

Since a truly healthy and good relationship needs to be more of an even partnership, this mis-match in power is rarely conducive to a good, healthy, stable relationship.

Only in rare (and I mean extremely rare, given human nature) cases where the person who has the money doesn't need to 'use' their power, can this type of dynamic work well for both parties.

Most of the time it's simply not good for one person in the relationship to feel like they 'owe' the other person something. It's far too easy to become a door mat in that type of scenario.

It will take a great deal of maturity for both parties to avoid falling into this trap. You both have to be on the same page in regards to the way you view the relationship. It's usually best if you talk to each other and discuss issues before going out and making a big purchase or a big decision.

For instance, if one of you gets offered a new job in another town, you owe it to your partner to talk to them about it. See what they think. This is even more important if your partner has a job that they like or a thriving career. You shouldn't just assume that they can or will give up their career so that you can pursue yours. That is selfish.

Most of us instinctively know these things and know that every relationship does have some balance of power. What many of us don't do is to think about it in terms of our own relationships. In order to create a balance of power that works for both of you, you both have to actively mold your relationship.

Right from the start, create the type of relationship where both of your opinions matter, where the two of you discuss things in a mature manner and come to an agreement, or at least a compromise. It's always best to do that from the beginning since it's much harder to change a dynamic once it's been set up.

Couples who don't have a good handle of the power relationship struggles in their relationship are headed for trouble. The closer to a 50/50 split in the dynamic of a relationship you can get the smoother and more comfortable the relationship is in most cases.

Letting Go Of A Relationship

Letting go of a relationship can be one of the hardest things you ever have to do in your life. Hopefully you knew it was coming and didn't get blindsided by it. If you did know it was coming then letting go will be a little easier. If you were blindsided then right now you feel as if you were hit by a Mack truck, twice.

You are hurt, you are angry and now you have questions. How could I not see this coming? What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Why are you doing this? Unfortunately, these are questions that may never get answered. And if they do get answered you might not like what you hear so maybe it's best if they stay unanswered.

Dealing with the end of a relationship is much like dealing with a death in the family. There is a grieving process you must go through when letting go of a relationship, especially if it was a long-term relationship spanning several years. You might consider a counselor, support group or both to help advise you along the grieving journey. Ask for referrals from family or friends and keep them close for moral support, your church pastor will give you spiritual guidance, or just pick a counselor out of the yellow pages if you want to keep things private and not air your 'dirty laundry' so to speak.

Sometimes the pain you feel is so intense you don't think you can handle it so you push it down and deny your feelings. Then one day you cannot hold them in any longer and all those feelings come out as anger. Anger at the one who broke off the relationship or even anger at yourself for letting yourself get blindsided. When the anger subsides you may start to feel some guilt because you got so angry and maybe said or did something you now regret. To try to get relief from the emotional pain you may attempt to bargain with your higher power. Then all of a sudden one day you wake up and the sun is shining and you find yourself able to accept your new life and smile again for the first time in a long time.

When you finally learn to accept your fate then you can start to put the pieces of your life back together. Life does go on. Take each day as it comes and realize you had the strength to get through a tough situation. Be proud of yourself. Take some time to find out who you are and don't jump right back into another relationship right away. Enjoy your new found freedom, take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. Just be who you are for a while, not who someone else thinks you should be. Be as kind to yourself as you can be and you may find that letting go of that relationship was the best thing for you.

How To Achieve Commitment In A Relationship

Do you ever look at a loving, committed couple and with that you could have that kind of commitment with someone? How do achieve that sort of commitment in a relationship? Commitment takes time; it doesn't happen instantly when you first start dating. Most people will begin dating due to a sexual attraction and/or shared interests and the relationship starts at as a fun, caring relationship. It isn't until a couple has been together for some times that they really become committed to one another. When you have experienced many different times in life together, both good and bad, you develop a special bond that can then last a lifetime.

Relationships are difficult and anyone that tries to tell you any different is lying. Even the best of relationships have their rough patches from time to time. Men and women are completely different and will not agree on absolutely everything, so the 'perfect' relationship 100% of the time is virtually impossible. Along with the differences between sexes, there can also be cultural and social differences that can affect a relationship. When a couple first meet and first start dating everything seems perfect. Sex is great and you want to spend every waking moment together. This 'new relationship' period can last quite a long time but is usually passing by the time you have dated for one year.

By the time you have been dating for a year you are becoming more accustomed to one another and may even begin to take one another for granted. Some things that you once adored about your partner might now be annoying and although sex is still good it has lost the 'fireworks' it had at the beginning. It is at this time that they honeymoon period is over.

It is at this point in the relationship where you will truly find out whether this relationship will last. When you move past the honeymoon period you might move onto a period where you begin to fight and argue a lot. You begin to irritate each other and neither one of you will want to give in and admit they are wrong. You need to learn to communicate with one another to survive this phase of a relationship. Unfortunately, good communication skills are something that we are not taught at school and it's not always something that we learn from our parents either. These skills are much needed skills in a relationship though and without good communication a relationship can fail fast. If you can learn to communicate with one another then you can get past this difficult stage of your relationship.

If you survive this difficult stage of your relationship then you should be very committed to one another by now. You have lived through the highs (the honeymoon stage) and the lows (the fighting stage) and you have survived. Your relationship is now much stronger and committed. You have come to know one another intimately and you have accepted any differences that you have. You have accepted each other’s faults and you have made compromising on those things you don't agree on.

When you reach this 'committed' stage there is no reason why your relationship can't last a lifetime. When you love someone enough to commit to them then you can be very happy together for the rest of your lives.

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Relationship Needs - Unique But Similar

Everyone has their own unique relationship needs, some people like to have a relationship with someone who is funny, some need someone who is spontaneous, whatever it may be. But there are also some 'basics' that everyone needs (even if they don't know they need it) to keep a relationship strong, healthy and stable.

It's always best to understand that there is no such thing as perfect but there can be a 'perfect for you'. It's important that you establish the 'minimum requirements' for anyone that you continue a relationship, or start one, with.

It really just boils down to basic decency and treating each other properly. Some of the basic minimums that you want in order to have a strong relationship are:

1. Honesty and integrity. I have a few friends who have been in relationships with guys who are not honest and have no real integrity. These guys lie, cheat and probably steal. Who in their right mind would want to enter into, or continue, a relationship with someone they can't even trust? Sorry, but that's just plain stupid.

2. Maturity. Whenever you are in a relationship, especially the older you get, you want your partner to be a 'grown up'. Life is unexpected, you need a strong partner by your side. When you face challenges in your life the last thing you want is someone who is going to fall apart.

If that happens not only do you have to deal with the situation on your own, you'll also have to hold up your partner. Trust me, that can get exhausting.

3. The ability to communicate. It's very important that both of you know how to talk to each other. You need to find constructive ways to let your partner know what you want and need.

You also need to be able to listen calmly to what your partner has to say, some of which you may not want to hear. If both of you can do these things, your relationship will be smoother and more fulfilling.

4. Stability. This goes along with maturity. You want someone who knows when it's time to have fun and when it's time to get down to business. It's hellish to be in a relationship with someone who can't seem to tell the difference.

It might be fun when the two of first start out to be with someone spontaneous and carefree, but when the two of you start having responsibilities not being able to count on your partner will get really old really quickly.

There are never guarantees in a relationship, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. If you take a little time to think about the traits that you should have in a partner and then look for those traits, you will have a much better chance of having a fulfilling and loving relationship.

Recognize what relationship needs you have and look for those qualities in whoever you date. Don't lie to yourself, if the person you are dating can't deliver at least a minimum of quality traits, keep looking.