Relationship Status - Wow - Its A Loaded Question

It's not uncommon for people to find themselves at different points in a relationship in the beginning. When this happens, it's not uncommon for one person to want to know what the relationship status is. Sometimes, this can cause problems.

It's a tricky thing to ask for clarification about what the other person is feeling. It might seem to them like you are pressuring them. This can lead to resentment and even a fight that can put a strain on the relationship.

Sometimes when you ask the question about how the other person is feeling, you may not hear what you want to hear. That too can cause some problems in the relationship. Either way, it can lead to an uncomfortable conversation with your partner.

Before you have 'the' conversation with your partner, you may want to carefully consider whether or not this really is the person you want to take the relationship to the next level with in the first place.

It's ohh so easy to see what you want to see. To be happy in a relationship you have to pick carefully. You don't want to pretend that the person you are dating is 'marriage' material when they so obviously are not.

There are basics that you should never compromise on. Make sure that your partner is someone that you want to continue on with before you ask 'the' question.

Are they honest? If not, than why would you want to consider having a relationship with them? News flash, they will not change! If your partner lies, cheats, steals than do not continue a relationship with them.

Is your partner mature enough to stay in a relationship with? It may be fun now to be with a 'free spirit' but that will get old the longer you are together. And don't mistake a flaky, fighting attitude with 'passion'. That is the epitome of immaturity.

Does your partner communicate effectively? That doesn't just mean that they know how to talk, but do they know how to listen? Do you? It's important that you both can talk and listen to what each other has to say. Can you convey what you are feeling to your partner in a constructive way? Can you take constructive criticism from your partner? These are all important skills to have if you and your partner are going to have effective communication.

The bottom line: can you trust your partner? Can you trust them not to cheat, can you trust them with your money, can you trust them to have your back no matter what is going on? If your answer to any of these questions is 'No' or 'I'm not sure' than you really need to reevaluate why you are even in a relationship with this person.

It's understandable to want to confirm your relationship status with your partner, but before you ask the question make sure that you are really ready for the answer. You also want to make sure that the relationship is worth continuing with. Don't get too complacent and ignore potential problems, you aren't doing yourself any favors if you do that.

Relationship Advice Online - Plain Common Sense Applies

It's not too hard to find a ton of relationship advice online. The real problem is that there is just too much advice online. Not only that, but it's tough to know what advice is 'good' advice and what advice you may be better off ignoring. For that reason, I've put together this article where I will give you some solid, common sense advice. Enjoy.

Just in case you were wondering, I'm not a counselor or therapist. I'm just someone who has had some experience (not all of which has been good) and I've learned a lot of very valuable life lessons. Once you read over my list of tips, I think that you'll see for yourself that none of it is rocket science, but it is good advice that can really benefit you.

OK, here we go:

1. Don't settle. I'm pretty sure most everyone on the planet has settled at one time or another and stayed in a relationship with someone they knew they shouldn't be in a relationship with. I've done it. It's pretty apparent early on, in most cases, that your love isn't all they are cracked up to be.

It usually starts small: a little lie, a nasty comment, etc. From there it almost always gets worse (why wouldn't it, you have already proved to them that they can treat you that way and you will keep coming back for more).

Don't be paranoid, but keep your eyes open for subtle clues. If they are going to show up they will probably show up early, long before you are too far in to leave. If you see some things, try to talk about it and work it out but if it doesn't change, leave. You deserve better.

2. Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. If you don't want to be lied to, put down or cheated on than don't do that to your honey. Hold yourself and any one else that you are in a relationship with (this doesn't have to only apply to romantic relationships either, the same holds true for friends and family) to a high standard. Give as good as you expect to get.

3. There is a fine line between being willing to work on problems and turning a blind eye to the faults of your partner. By all means be willing to work on issues, but you have to be realistic and not allow yourself to be manipulated. It's very easy for your partner to tell you that they will 'try to change'.

They may make some small attempts for a while but if you're not careful you will both revert back to a negative pattern of behavior in a few days. You have to be on guard and make sure that doesn't happen.

Finding relationship advice online isn't hard to do. If you want to 'fast track' it, just keep these tips in mind for your current relationship or the next time you find yourself dating. You will save yourself a world of hurt if you do.

How To Mend A Broken Relationship

There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.

If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.

If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.

If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.

I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.

How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.

Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.

How To Stop A Relationship Breakup

Learning how to stop a relationship breakup is not as difficult as it may seem. All it takes is learning how to communicate with your spouse on a different level. Remember what it was like when you first got together? You talked about anything and everything and agreed on most things too. What happened?

Well, most likely, somewhere along the line one of you got your feelings hurt by what the other one said or did and it did not get addressed. Little resentments then started to creep their way in and got bigger and bigger. If one of you is stuck at home most days and the other one gets to go out and play all the time, more resentments build. One blames the other for their unhappiness and soon you find yourselves caught in a tailspin just waiting to crash and burn.

If you really don't want that to happen then you need to figure out how to stop a relationship breakup before it gets too out of control and all of a sudden divorce court is looming in front of you. How do you do that?

The first step, both of you, stop being so selfish! This is supposed to be a partnership not one pitted against the other. It's not about what each of you as individuals get out of this relationship, it's about what the two of you can accomplish together. Take stock of what you have built together. When all the pettiness gets swept out of the way and it comes right down to brass tacks, do you still love each other? Are you still 'in love' with each other?

If the answer is yes then just start treating each other better. If you have done something wrong, fix it. Say, "I'm sorry", and mean it. A little sorry goes a long way to fixing hurt feelings and whittling away at those little resentments that have built up for so long.

TALK to each other, not at each other. ASK how the other is doing, how their day was. LISTEN to each other, more importantly, HEAR each other. CARE about what is important to them, CARE about how they feel. Ask if there is anything you can do to take a little stress off of them. They will appreciate it and when it comes to your turn they will remember what you did for them and then do it for you. This is called GIVE and TAKE. When one of you does all the giving and the other does all the taking once again, those little resentments build and build.

It will take some practice, human beings are inherently selfish, and it takes some work to be the partner you should be when you are in a committed relationship. A few simple changes in how you approach your spouse or significant other will aid you in learning how to stop a relationship breakup.

Teenage Relationship Abuse - Dont Let It Happen To Your Teen

When it comes to an abusive relationship, the abuse can be manifested in many ways. We often think only of physical or sexual abuse, but in reality things such as 'teasing' and mocking someone and constantly undermining a persons worth can also be classified as abusive. When it comes to identifying signs of teenage relationship abuse it's even more important, as a parent, that we know what to be on the lookout for.

Hopefully, you've shown your child that they can trust you with their problems so they'll be more likely to confide in you if something is going on, but the truth is that even if you and your child have good communication skills they still may be too uncomfortable to talk openly about the problem with you. Knowing what to look for can help you identify a potential problem even if your teen isn't willing to talk about it.

It's not uncommon for a teenage abuser to threaten to tarnish the reputation of their victim. With all the pressure to fit in when in high school, this can be a remarkably effective way for an abuser to keep his victim in line. As a parent, this can be a nightmare scenario - your kid in trouble but unwilling to let you help.

Here are some things you can keep an eye out for as they may indicate an abusive relationship:

1. If your teen suddenly seems to be getting hurt a lot it could be a sign of trouble. It's not uncommon for the victim of physical abuse to suddenly seem to have a lot of 'accidents' and become 'clumsy', but very often these bruises and cuts are signs that they are being physically abused and they are just too embarrassed to talk about it.

2. One of the most common techniques that abusers use is to isolate their victim, they will force them to cut off ties with friends and family, since it is easier to victimize them if they don't have a support system. If your teen suddenly loses interest in seeing their old friends or becomes even more reclusive around family, you may want to investigate further. I know teens can be somewhat reclusive anyway when it comes to spending time with family, but if they seem to get worse suddenly especially after they start seeing someone new, it may be cause for concern.

3. If your teen suddenly starts getting poor grades or doesn't seem interested in the hobbies they used to enjoy, again, this could be a sign of some problem.

No parent wants to think of their kid as being mistreated by anyone, that may be why it's so difficult for parents to grasp just how much of a problem teenage relationship abuse is becoming. Just try to always keep open lines of communication with your child, and teach them to trust their instincts, just as you should always trust yours. If you think that something is wrong with your kid and/or the person they are dating... it probably is.

I Need Relationship Help

If you're thinking to yourself, "I think I need relationship help", then you probably do. When things start to go south in a relationship, it seems that the last person you want to go to for help is also the one you should be talking to the most, your partner. Communication is essential in any relationship and when it breaks down it can sometimes be hard to get back but it's not impossible.

Start by making a list of the things in your relationship that are bothering you. No matter what it is, be honest and don't just make it all about the other person. Relationships take two to work or not work and if you are feeling bad about your relationship, so is your partner. When you've made your list, invite your partner to discuss the problems you've outlined.

During your talk, keep in mind to never, ever lay blame on the other person. Never start a sentence with, 'YOU' do this or 'YOU' do that. Start your sentences with, 'I FEEL' this and 'I FEEL' that. The only thing laying blame will accomplish is making your partner feel they have to defend themselves, probably start a fight and defeat the whole purpose of trying to improve your relationship. So be open and honest about your concerns but never be hurtful.

Make sure to ask your partner how they feel about the direction your relationship is heading. Find out what they think they need and/or want from you to make your relationship successful and then voice your own concerns, wants and needs.

If talking things through doesn't seem to help, then it may be time to consult an 'I need relationship help' professional. That doesn't mean your mother or your brother or your sister, aunt, uncle or cousin. Keep things between you private, the less input you get from biased sources the easier it will be to resolve the aspects of your relationship that need to be resolved. Families tend to take sides and that will only stoke the fire.

When you've talked about things and feel you both are ready to start seeing a relationship counselor, if you do, make a list (or take the one you've already made) of things to discuss. The relationship counselor will help you both sort things out and keep them in perspective. They know the right questions to ask and what buttons to push to get you thinking and can keep the discussion heading in the right direction.

A relationship counselor will give you exercises, or homework, to teach yourselves the art of communication outside his or her office. Follow what he or she tells you closely. Who knows, you may begin to have so much fun learning how to communicate with each other some of the problems your were facing may just fade away. It's all perception and if your perception changes and you are seeing things from both sides instead of just your own, then maybe you could stop thinking 'I need relationship help'.

Do I Need Relationship Help

If you are asking yourself and anybody else who will listen, "Do I need relationship help?", then my response would be, if you are asking the question the answer is probably yes. No relationship is perfect and neither are the two individuals trying to make a go of it. Each one involved brings their own unique set of qualities to a relationship, good and bad.

Since we are all products of how we were raised, if your parents had a good relationship, respected each other, listened to one another and didn't fight about everything under the sun then you were shown your entire young life how to have a good relationship. Your parents gave you the tools you need to have a successful, loving relationship and you probably didn't even realize it.

On the other hand, if your parents didn't have a good relationship, disrespected each other, ignored each other and fought about anything and everything, they gave you a whole different set of tools. If this is the case, it is understandable why you are asking, "Do I need relationship help?"

If you do find yourself asking this question, good for you, this is a positive step believe it or not. It means you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve on yourself and become a true partner in your relationship. If you and your significant other are on the same page then you can both grow together and no one gets left behind.

So, where do you find the information you need to improve a relationship? There are several places you can look.

1. Self-help books - a good resource for insight into what it takes to have a good relationship. You don't get any feedback from a book so there will be some trial and error to find what works for your relationship and what doesn't.

2. Counseling - a third party to listen and offer advice when the problems seem too big to handle on your own. You will get plenty of feedback here so be prepared.

3. Your parents - They can give you a wealth of information on how they managed to stay married for as long as they have. Just remember, everyone is different and so is every situation. Don't try to be your parents, be yourself. Don't get too specific, try to talk in general terms when involving your parents, they worry about you enough.

4. Your significant other - Yes, yes and yes! Who else would you talk to about YOUR relationship? You would think this would be a no-brainer but you would be surprised at how may people start to see their partner as their enemy, instead of their ally, when things aren't going well.

So if you are insightful enough to ask, "Do I need relationship help?" then also be open to trying every single suggestion or recommendation given to you to help improve your relationship. It will definitely be worth all the hard work.

Ideal Relationship - Flexiabilty Is Your Silver Bullet

Some friends and I were having a conversation the other day about what we considered to be an ideal relationship. We all are very different and like different things in our relationships, but we found that we did all seem to agree on some basics. Some things we didn't agree on since some of us are more free spirited than others, but the basics were the same.

If you want to find the perfect relationship you have to understand which things you can (and should be) a little flexible on and what things you shouldn't be willing to settle on. Once you've got that foundation it will make it easier to hold out until you find someone who may not be perfect, but they're perfect for you.

Here are some things that most people would consider to be basic traits to have in order to create a great relationship. If one or more of these traits are missing you may want to keep looking for someone special:

1. Honesty. If you can't trust the person you're with your life is not going to be very easy or fulfilling. It's not much fun to be in a relationship with someone you can't trust.

Think of how it would be if you could not only not trust your partner with the big things, such as being faithful or taking good care of the money, but the small things too. You and your partner both need to have high standards when it comes to being honest.

2. Maturity. The older you get and the closer you may be getting to the age you may want to settle down and have a family, the more important this trait becomes. Life has it's ups and downs and you want someone by your side who isn't going to flake out and fall to pieces every time you hit a bump in the road.

You want someone who can have fun (maturity has nothing to do with being old or 'stodgy' it just means you know when to act silly and when to suck it up and take care of business) but still have your back when you need them. It's also an important trait when it comes to working through tough issues and being able to communicate.

3. Good communication skills. This is important because if the two of you can't talk about difficult issues (and the longer you're together the more difficult issues that will arise), your relationship isn't going to be a smooth one.

You both have to know how to constructively express the way you're feeling as well as listen as objectively as possible to what your partner is saying to you, even if it's not something that you really want to hear.

Everyone has their own definition of what the ideal relationship would be. Some people are drawn to someone with a sense of humor while others like someone who is serious, but the bottom line is above and beyond all that you want someone who has the traits I've listed above because without them, you won't have a a solid relationship.

How To Reconcile A Broken Relationship

During conversation with friends, someone asks how to reconcile a broken relationship. It gets you thinking about your last relationship and how you were certain you had found the love of your life but you eventually messed up anyway and she divorced you. Now you are thinking you want to try to get her back.

Since we all know you can't change anybody but yourself, the best way to go about that is to find a way to start making the changes you need to make in yourself. Don't think it will happen overnight because it won't. Some people are capable of making the life changes they need to make on their own but I recommend starting off by talking to a professional counselor and maybe joining a support group depending on what the problem was in your relationship.

If you are going to make lasting changes you need to find the training to do it. Just like going to college and earning your degree then training for your first job. You didn't know it before you learned it or trained for it. Making a relationship last is not any different. Life is a learning process. We are all works in progress. We are not born just knowing everything we need to know. Especially not knowing how to reconcile a broken relationship.

When your extensive training is complete, however long it takes, then you can approach your ex and simply ask to speak to her over coffee. Don't make any drastic moves at this point. You need to show her that you have changed and she has to learn to trust you again. This will all take time, probably several months at least. She is not going to jump right back into a relationship with someone who hurt her badly.

Say she agrees to have coffee with you, now what? Just talk to her. Keep the conversation light and don't get into anything heavy right off the bat. You will scare her off. Make her wonder what you are up to, keep her guessing. You want her to keep thinking about you after coffee. Don't tell her yet what you have been doing to improve yourself, show her. Let her start to see the new you. When she sees the changes you have made for herself she may even ask if you have been seeing a counselor. Now is the time you can tell her all about the improvements you have made and why.

If she is receptive to giving you and the relationship a second chance, ask her out on a real date and treat her like the love of your life you always thought she was. Also, sooner rather than later, sincerely apologize for any pain you caused her the first time around. If she forgives you, you know all your hard work was worth it and that she understands and trusts that you figured out how to reconcile a broken relationship.

Overcoming A Relationship Break Up

There are many ways to handle overcoming a relationship break up. One way is to write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal. Next time you go to the store buy yourself a nice notebook. Put it next to your bed on your night table with a pen. Each night when you go to bed spend a minute or two writing down how you felt about one aspect of your relationship. This is a great way to vent your feelings and keep your emotions under control. Writing things in a journal will help you heal.

Another way is to get out with your best friend or group of friends for some fun. Go sing some karaoke in your favorite neighborhood bar. Don't stay home alone. All you'll end up doing is focusing on what could have been instead of what is and what will be. So get out and try to have some fun with friends.

How about renting a couple of good comedy flicks to help you take your mind off all that pain you are feeling? Good idea, huh? Invite that Best Friend Forever over for a night of popcorn and laughs. You will definitely feel better in the morning because it is a well known fact that if you can laugh, whatever it is that's bothering you is really not that bad.

Dance your pain away. Seriously, turn on the radio, turn it up and just dance, dance, dance. Soon you will be laughing and having the time of your life and will forget all about, who again? See? It's working already. Pretty soon you will start to think that overcoming a relationship break up is a piece of cake.

Change your routine, drive a different way to work, go to a museum, go shopping and buy yourself something new, read a scary novel (stay away from the romance novels though they tend to make things worse for the reader). Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off whatsher/whatshisname. Heck, you are probably better off without them anyway. It may not feel like it now but, who knows, maybe there is someone better waiting for you just around the next corner. You will never know if you keep yourself holed up in your home with the blinds down and the curtains drawn.

Basically what you need to do here is fake it till you make it. Smile when you don't feel like it and the next thing you know you catch yourself smiling for no apparent reason. Sometimes that's just what you have to do to get through the day. The pain you feel now will not last forever and in a couple of months when you meet someone new and better for you, you will even wonder why you made such a big deal over this one. Breaking up can feel like the end of the world but overcoming a relationship break up can show you a whole brand new one.

Hurting Over A Breakup Relationship Help

If you are hurting over a breakup relationship help is not as hard to find as you might think. It starts with you. If you feel you have the strength to tackle the way you feel by yourself then do so. Step back and assess your situation. Ask yourself how you really feel and be honest with yourself. Breaking up with someone is tough and you need all the strength you can muster to get through it.

First, and this is very important, let yourself feel the pain. Go ahead and wallow in it for a while. But only for a while. You need this very important step. Stay in bed for a day and cry your eyes out. Go get that pint of ice cream (or gallon) and sit in front of the TV and eat it til you can't eat anymore. Punch a pillow. Throw marshmallows as hard as you can into the sink. Do whatever you need to do to constructively deal with your pain. Believe this or not doing this is actually setting the foundation for the next weeks and months to come as you settle back into single life.

Dealing with your pain the right way can be empowering. That that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know you have heard that saying and it is true. Like I said, if you are hurting over a breakup relationship help yourself. You will come out the other side a better, more confident person.

Now, what do you do after your day of wallowing? Wallow no more! Onward and upward! You are probably better off without the one you broke up with anyway. Seriously, take a good long look at your life and start to make some plans. Having a goal in mind will help keep you focused. Make a list of things you want to do. Take a vacation, go back to school, reconnect with old friends or heck, clean out that closet you have been meaning to get to. Organize your thoughts and your life and the rest will follow.

I believe, like many people do, that everything happens for a reason. Something good always come out of a bad situation. You just have to wait for it. Don't go looking for it, it will come to you. I also believe that everything we go through is a learning experience and you take what you learn from one experience to the next. Some call this learning from our mistakes. I like to think it's a little more spiritual than that. So you just went through a breakup, that person wasn't 'the one' anyway and you knew it from the start. So you take what you learned from that experience and tuck it away. Now you have that information to fall back on when your 'the one' makes their way into your life.

Once again, take a day and wallow then make a plan, set some goals, and organize things. Then you won't need any more hurting over a breakup relationship help.

Power Relationship - Does Only 1 Have The Power

Power relationship struggles are all too common. Even in the best relationships there is a balance of power. The more even the balance of power is, the better the relationship. If one person has virtually all the power that creates a very unhealthy dynamic and it should be changed or the relationship should be ended.

As uncomfortable as it may be to admit, the balance of power in any relationship usually revolves around who has the money. If one person contributes more financially to the relationship in most cases they will be the one with the most power. The other person is often very reluctant to argue or disagree with the 'powerful' person.

Since a truly healthy and good relationship needs to be more of an even partnership, this mis-match in power is rarely conducive to a good, healthy, stable relationship.

Only in rare (and I mean extremely rare, given human nature) cases where the person who has the money doesn't need to 'use' their power, can this type of dynamic work well for both parties.

Most of the time it's simply not good for one person in the relationship to feel like they 'owe' the other person something. It's far too easy to become a door mat in that type of scenario.

It will take a great deal of maturity for both parties to avoid falling into this trap. You both have to be on the same page in regards to the way you view the relationship. It's usually best if you talk to each other and discuss issues before going out and making a big purchase or a big decision.

For instance, if one of you gets offered a new job in another town, you owe it to your partner to talk to them about it. See what they think. This is even more important if your partner has a job that they like or a thriving career. You shouldn't just assume that they can or will give up their career so that you can pursue yours. That is selfish.

Most of us instinctively know these things and know that every relationship does have some balance of power. What many of us don't do is to think about it in terms of our own relationships. In order to create a balance of power that works for both of you, you both have to actively mold your relationship.

Right from the start, create the type of relationship where both of your opinions matter, where the two of you discuss things in a mature manner and come to an agreement, or at least a compromise. It's always best to do that from the beginning since it's much harder to change a dynamic once it's been set up.

Couples who don't have a good handle of the power relationship struggles in their relationship are headed for trouble. The closer to a 50/50 split in the dynamic of a relationship you can get the smoother and more comfortable the relationship is in most cases.

Letting Go Of A Relationship

Letting go of a relationship can be one of the hardest things you ever have to do in your life. Hopefully you knew it was coming and didn't get blindsided by it. If you did know it was coming then letting go will be a little easier. If you were blindsided then right now you feel as if you were hit by a Mack truck, twice.

You are hurt, you are angry and now you have questions. How could I not see this coming? What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Why are you doing this? Unfortunately, these are questions that may never get answered. And if they do get answered you might not like what you hear so maybe it's best if they stay unanswered.

Dealing with the end of a relationship is much like dealing with a death in the family. There is a grieving process you must go through when letting go of a relationship, especially if it was a long-term relationship spanning several years. You might consider a counselor, support group or both to help advise you along the grieving journey. Ask for referrals from family or friends and keep them close for moral support, your church pastor will give you spiritual guidance, or just pick a counselor out of the yellow pages if you want to keep things private and not air your 'dirty laundry' so to speak.

Sometimes the pain you feel is so intense you don't think you can handle it so you push it down and deny your feelings. Then one day you cannot hold them in any longer and all those feelings come out as anger. Anger at the one who broke off the relationship or even anger at yourself for letting yourself get blindsided. When the anger subsides you may start to feel some guilt because you got so angry and maybe said or did something you now regret. To try to get relief from the emotional pain you may attempt to bargain with your higher power. Then all of a sudden one day you wake up and the sun is shining and you find yourself able to accept your new life and smile again for the first time in a long time.

When you finally learn to accept your fate then you can start to put the pieces of your life back together. Life does go on. Take each day as it comes and realize you had the strength to get through a tough situation. Be proud of yourself. Take some time to find out who you are and don't jump right back into another relationship right away. Enjoy your new found freedom, take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. Just be who you are for a while, not who someone else thinks you should be. Be as kind to yourself as you can be and you may find that letting go of that relationship was the best thing for you.

How To Achieve Commitment In A Relationship

Do you ever look at a loving, committed couple and with that you could have that kind of commitment with someone? How do achieve that sort of commitment in a relationship? Commitment takes time; it doesn't happen instantly when you first start dating. Most people will begin dating due to a sexual attraction and/or shared interests and the relationship starts at as a fun, caring relationship. It isn't until a couple has been together for some times that they really become committed to one another. When you have experienced many different times in life together, both good and bad, you develop a special bond that can then last a lifetime.

Relationships are difficult and anyone that tries to tell you any different is lying. Even the best of relationships have their rough patches from time to time. Men and women are completely different and will not agree on absolutely everything, so the 'perfect' relationship 100% of the time is virtually impossible. Along with the differences between sexes, there can also be cultural and social differences that can affect a relationship. When a couple first meet and first start dating everything seems perfect. Sex is great and you want to spend every waking moment together. This 'new relationship' period can last quite a long time but is usually passing by the time you have dated for one year.

By the time you have been dating for a year you are becoming more accustomed to one another and may even begin to take one another for granted. Some things that you once adored about your partner might now be annoying and although sex is still good it has lost the 'fireworks' it had at the beginning. It is at this time that they honeymoon period is over.

It is at this point in the relationship where you will truly find out whether this relationship will last. When you move past the honeymoon period you might move onto a period where you begin to fight and argue a lot. You begin to irritate each other and neither one of you will want to give in and admit they are wrong. You need to learn to communicate with one another to survive this phase of a relationship. Unfortunately, good communication skills are something that we are not taught at school and it's not always something that we learn from our parents either. These skills are much needed skills in a relationship though and without good communication a relationship can fail fast. If you can learn to communicate with one another then you can get past this difficult stage of your relationship.

If you survive this difficult stage of your relationship then you should be very committed to one another by now. You have lived through the highs (the honeymoon stage) and the lows (the fighting stage) and you have survived. Your relationship is now much stronger and committed. You have come to know one another intimately and you have accepted any differences that you have. You have accepted each other’s faults and you have made compromising on those things you don't agree on.

When you reach this 'committed' stage there is no reason why your relationship can't last a lifetime. When you love someone enough to commit to them then you can be very happy together for the rest of your lives.

Relationship Needs - Unique But Similar

Everyone has their own unique relationship needs, some people like to have a relationship with someone who is funny, some need someone who is spontaneous, whatever it may be. But there are also some 'basics' that everyone needs (even if they don't know they need it) to keep a relationship strong, healthy and stable.

It's always best to understand that there is no such thing as perfect but there can be a 'perfect for you'. It's important that you establish the 'minimum requirements' for anyone that you continue a relationship, or start one, with.

It really just boils down to basic decency and treating each other properly. Some of the basic minimums that you want in order to have a strong relationship are:

1. Honesty and integrity. I have a few friends who have been in relationships with guys who are not honest and have no real integrity. These guys lie, cheat and probably steal. Who in their right mind would want to enter into, or continue, a relationship with someone they can't even trust? Sorry, but that's just plain stupid.

2. Maturity. Whenever you are in a relationship, especially the older you get, you want your partner to be a 'grown up'. Life is unexpected, you need a strong partner by your side. When you face challenges in your life the last thing you want is someone who is going to fall apart.

If that happens not only do you have to deal with the situation on your own, you'll also have to hold up your partner. Trust me, that can get exhausting.

3. The ability to communicate. It's very important that both of you know how to talk to each other. You need to find constructive ways to let your partner know what you want and need.

You also need to be able to listen calmly to what your partner has to say, some of which you may not want to hear. If both of you can do these things, your relationship will be smoother and more fulfilling.

4. Stability. This goes along with maturity. You want someone who knows when it's time to have fun and when it's time to get down to business. It's hellish to be in a relationship with someone who can't seem to tell the difference.

It might be fun when the two of first start out to be with someone spontaneous and carefree, but when the two of you start having responsibilities not being able to count on your partner will get really old really quickly.

There are never guarantees in a relationship, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. If you take a little time to think about the traits that you should have in a partner and then look for those traits, you will have a much better chance of having a fulfilling and loving relationship.

Recognize what relationship needs you have and look for those qualities in whoever you date. Don't lie to yourself, if the person you are dating can't deliver at least a minimum of quality traits, keep looking.